How To Be Authentic
By Véronique Eberhart
A friend and I were speaking about the difficult art of selling products and services. Quickly, the conversation turned to his discomfort of speaking in public.
He started by saying that when it comes to public speaking skills, “you have it or you don’t”. Clearly, he felt he was in the club of those who don’t ‘have it’.
Then, he shared how he had been taught to sell in conventional speaking clubs in a way that would require wearing another personality, somehow becoming someone else, especially if you didn’t ‘have it’.
To this day, this approach feels so inauthentic to him that he actually has a hard time proposing his company's financial products to clients. You can imagine how this is impacting his bottom line!
Do you have beliefs around speaking in public, selling, or being heard that are preventing you from speaking efficiently? Do you think this could be impacting your bottom line?
My perspective on public speaking and communication is that authenticity is key.
People want to ‘feel your heart’, they want to be able to trust you at a visceral level, they want to know that you're real, that you get them. This is very hard to achieve if you hide negative beliefs, insecurities or if you've been wounded around speaking in public in the past, especially as a child.
The first step is tuning into your inside to listen to this little voice that really speaks the truth. For some people it speaks about having been publicly embarrassed or even shamed, for others it speaks about the fear of stepping up, for another it’s about having been told repeatedly to ‘be seen and not heard’.
Whatever it is, the more unwelcome emotions and beliefs are pushed down, the more they will come through, unbeknownst to the speaker. They will show up in avoidance tactics (not accepting speaking engagements, for example), or terrible stage fright, stress, and all kind of physical reactions – some of them directly affecting your voice. But you can do something against these kind of feelings. Mind-Body tools like EFT/Tapping do wonders to undo the damages of emotional hurts.
The second step is to address the physical limitations that have been rehearsed over and over again due to the fears. Breath support, vocal projection, and optimal posture are all skills that can be easily learnt. The way I like to do it is by playing with different breathing technics, and making lots of joyful noises and experiencing voice freedom in a new and powerful way. I also work on balancing the body's energetic centers - a key concept for increasing charisma and opening the voice.
The third step is rehearsing being great at speaking. The best way to grow in confidence, and to experience the pleasure of being in the limelight is by practicing speaking in front of an audience of peers, and by receiving supportive feedback.
As you can see, a lot can be done to overcome the fear of public speaking, so clearly it’s not about ‘having it’ or ‘not having it’. Chances are you had all the confidence, charm and charisma as a toddler to start with. Somewhere along the way your light has been dimmed, and your confidence has been robbed or damaged in some ways.
You can reclaim your authentic self and the charisma you need to rock the stage of your choice. You can reclaim and grow your confidence from a deeper, more loving and accepting sense of self.
As a success coach, classical singer, community leader, and business owner, I feel I am uniquely skilled to bring all the deeper aspects of public speaking together. My workshop “Find Your Voice and Speak With Confidence” addresses head-on all the intricacies of speaking in public.
If this is something you’d like to experience - and you are in Houston, TX, please, check my website for this workshop.
Not in Houston?
- Let me know if you are interested in an online program
- Register to receive my free tips to help you speak in public with authenticity and confidence!
I hope this newsletter gave you some food for thought. Please share it with somebody you love if you found it helpful. ☺
With Joy and Gratitude,
Schedule an appointment with me to know more about my programs and services